I'm not even going to try to justify this one. You know why you're here. I'll warn you though, it's going to get pretty traumatic. I spent most of yesterday discovering the Hell that is unleashed when you set Fanfiction. I now enjoy a hitherto unimagined level of empathy with Vietnam veterans. Whatever mind-bending spectacles and seething horrors await you over the following pages, just know that I've read the full stories that these selected quotations come from, and far more to boot.
You won't believe how far the rabbit hole goes. Literally and figuratively. And just FYI, all fic extracts here are presented largely as originally written, intermittent avant garde grammar and all.
The only change I've made is to censor some of the more explicit terminology. But regardless, explicit content abounds from this point forth. The synopsis: Kratos from God of War and Sam Fisher from, er, Splinter Cell are enjoying an ongoing, passionate affair, as a result of magic portals. Selected 'highlights': "Hot lips collided again, glazed eyes locking. Kratos caught Sam's right hand with his left as the right hand of the lower trailed down the bare chest, caressing the jumping muscles and swirling the navel.
Rough fingertips trailed over the top of the kilt, sliding in ever so slightly to brush over more bare skin, earning a grunt of acceptance from the pale male. The hand of the god that wasn't occupied began to work on the shirt of the Splinter Cell, popping open troublesome buttons with ease actually ripping them off was more like it before his hand paused, lips releasing Sam's to emit a sigh, eyes fluttering closed. Kratos's muscles spasmed all at once and he was half sitting upwards to rip off Sam's shirt when" Ok, moving swiftly onwards The synopsis: Doomguy from Doom finds his wife amorous after a long, hard day of demon-slaughter.
Selected 'highlights': "Doomguy walked towards the bedroom after a long day of work. The door opened softly as his wonderful wife curled her finger toward the bedroom. As he entered the doorway, she began to close the door. Her eyes beamed "you seemed to have such a hard day, why don't I soften you up" she said seductively. Her nightgown silkingly wove her body, as it fell off it revealed her tender body.
Doomguy was instantly reminded that the carpet matched the drapes, blonde. The synopsis: An Eevee named Sparky has a problem. A Pikachu named Rex helps him with it. Selected 'highlights': "'Well I have a little problem" Sparky looked away shamefully. What is it? The Little Eevee sighed. Selected 'highlights': "Carmine freezes, standing there on his knees like a bastard child caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he looks up to Marcus for instructions, his big blue eyes concerned and as wide as dinner plates.
In a branch of a well-known fast-food outlet. Selected 'highlights': "Go and pick out a piece of chicken. But don't eat it. That's for later. He picked out a piece of chicken. The synopsis: Back at Wayne Manor, Bruce from Batman: Arkham Asylum, obviously recounts a hitherto forgotten escapade resulting from drugging. Selected 'highlights': "Ivy's hands were now removing Batman's cape and armor. As they kissed deeply, she rubbed her hands on his iron chest making him grunt. Batman's hands were now massaging Ivy's Surely it isn't all like this!
The synopsis: Hakan goes on an exciting, globe-trotting, street-fighting adventure. Selected 'highlights': "Hakan travelled to the jungle where he found a Chinese woman with malformed legs.
The synopsis: Wander yeah, from Shadow of the Colossus must defeat the 16th Colossus in order to revive Mono. The Colossus is a hot, human-sized woman. Later, he gets a horrible surprise. Selected 'highlights': "A tear in his trousers had unlocked his most secret treasure trove. It stood, his True holy sword, jutting forth, pointing skyward. His gaze fell upon it, and he saw that indeed a glowing light shone forth from his vas deferens, indicating this new challenge's glowing weak spot.
Her w And the next bit, featuring Agro the horse? Words fail me. The synopsis: Months after her escape from Aperture, Portal's Chell is troubled by unusual dreams. Selected 'highlights': "Her left hand had moved from Chell's shoulder, making the short distance to her Be aware of that. We need go no further. The synopsis: Tails is in love with Cream the Rabbit, but can't bring himself to tell her.
Then one night, he runs into her after getting smashed on tequila. Selected 'highlights': "Tails was a smart and had study a lot about sex No, I'm not even touching this one. Just no. So, thank God that's over, right?
I don't even know what to say here, to be honest. But, er, yeah. This was certainly a feature that I wrote and that you've just read, and those fics are real and were written by real humans. Draw your own conclusions.
I can't even feel feelings any more. And if you think the previous was bad, know that what you've just seen were the very edited highlights of the nicest bits of the nicest stuff I read. And while you recover, why not check out some of our less mind-crushing Week of Love content? Try The 10 most controversial video game sex scandals , and then maybe give The Top 7 Uncomfortably sexy video game AI characters a go. Nudge nudge, wink wink I'm not even going to try to justify this one.
Doom: The Rebirth Written by: weinercaughtinabutt The synopsis: Doomguy from Doom finds his wife amorous after a long, hard day of demon-slaughter. Silent Dreams Written by: irishileana The synopsis: Months after her escape from Aperture, Portal's Chell is troubled by unusual dreams. David Houghton. See comments.