Pop quiz! Lots of women who've been there and done that say it's a welcome addition to their sexual repertoire. But just like you must walk before you can run, you must have some sort of anal foreplay before you go for the full monty of anal sex. Or, you know, you can do butt play and leave it at that forever, because it's your booty and you make the rules. You hopefully already know the basics: ALWAYS use lube, never put something that was in your butt in your mouth or vagina, and butt plugs are your friend.
But there's so much more to know about anal play, and so here, several sexperts break down their best anal foreplay tips for both first-timers and experienced butt travelers. Happy butt stuff! Having little details like this worked out ahead of time can give you more freedom to enjoy the experience and not stress about little things. Plus, massages always feel good and anything relaxing is a bonus, always. You can try a traditional vibrator, or go for a suction toy like the Womanizer Liberty , which Engle recommends.
Warming lube can help heighten pleasure and make you even more comfortable in the moment. The active ingredient in these heated lubricants is propylene glycol, says Dr. Sonpal, which is the same substance used in Fireball Whiskey. Some other brands use capsaicin, aka the active ingredient found in peppers. Just be careful when touching your eyes, Dr. Sonpal warns! Sonpal recommends, or Zemalia water-based lube which also heats on contact, which is good for sensitive skin. There are a bunch of li'l muscles around your anus that can be pretty tight if you're not relaxed.
And as logic follows, if those muscles and your anal sphincter are tight, inserting anything can be painful and difficult rather than pleasurable and easy. Try something like deep breathing or a relaxing massage with your partner to make sure both you and your bum muscles are sufficiently chilled out, pre-anal play.
All sex can sometimes be messy, and anal sex and foreplay is no exception. If this is gonna stress you out to the point that you're unable to relax and enjoy yourself, try prepping your space ahead of time. Like, maybe strip the fancy sheets off your bed or cover your comforter with a soft, washable blanket. The butt is full of nerves hence, the point of anal play and foreplay , but that doesn't necessarily mean it can tell whether something is going in or out. Sexologist Jill McDevitt says to secure a quality water-based lube ahead of time.
This will make rubbing and massaging even better. McDevitt also recommends trying a vibrating anal toy with a broad head. External anal vibrations add completely new sensations. Alternate between the vibe and your finger to really tease.
Sadie Allison, founder of TickleKitty. Lift and repeat. Then, put your palms together in "prayer position," placing them on their tailbone and gliding up and down their buttcrack. This is where lube comes in. It should basically just feel like you might need to poop. You don't! I hope you don't. You know how it's basically impossible to tickle yourself?
This isn't the same, but trying out anal foreplay on your own is informed by a similar mind-set. You won't be surprised as much by your own, um, touch. It won't be the same as it would be coming from a partner, but it's a good way to feel out if you're into the sensation. Usually, shower sex is bad and very hard to successfully pull off. But because relaxation is so key here, trying anal play in a place where you're more likely to feel calm and loose is helpful.
Plus, if you're worried about cleanliness which isn't a real problem, but it's an understandable concern , moving things to a place where you're already getting clean helps out. The whole point of anal play is to keep it simple before working your way up.
Everything that goes in should be "just the tip. Imagine it like a basketball hoop, and the ball should just be rolling around the rim of the basket, not actually making the basket. Does that help? I know nothing about basketball. Vigorous jamming of fingers anywhere should not happen immediately. No, not all butt stuff needs to be done doggie-style. It's true it might be a little harder to get some solid eye contact going on when face-to-anus things are happening. There are a variety of positions to try, like lying on your back with your hips elevated or sitting on his face in reverse-cowgirl.
Move around until you find one that makes you feel most at ease. The only way to know what works and what doesn't is to be totally honest with you partner about what they're doing. Pierce stresses the importance of always being tuned in to how the other is feeling and being vocal about your preferences.
As clinical sexologist Kat Van Kirk says , the anus and the lower part of the rectum actually have very little fecal material in them, which means it tends to not be nearly as dirty as you think. The key to anal play is comfort, so do whatever you need to help with any lingering anxiety. You can use something as simple as warm water for a quick cleanse too. Vaginal, clitoral, nipple-centric—whichever feels best for you.
Incidentally, women who have had anal sex report more frequent orgasms than those who haven't. That being said Why do you think The Shocker exists? Necessity is the mother of invention. It depends on your levels of inhibition, your feelings about your partner, your feelings about your body. If all these things are good to go, and you just don't like the sensation, you'll know pretty fast.
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