Anay Bhalerao March 28, The situation is going to embarrassing for the both of you, here's what you need to know. Face it, mums and dads - there is going to be a time when you stumble upon your child's online adventures.
And you are not going to be happy about it. If you are lucky, you might just catch your child watching a softer version of pornography , and at a much later age. Pornography was hard to access a few years back. There were human filters to obtain it. And even the themes of pornographic magazines and videos were much less perverted than what they are now. Today, a pornographic website is a trap. Not only are there links to explore, the advertisements and popups are potentially dangerous to an uninitiated mind.
They are designed in such a manner that a person keeps on visiting them, even if he or she does not want to. If your child has already been exposed to pornography, there is only one way out: be candid about it, convince them that this is not the reality, and answer their questions. But most importantly, this is a unique chance to dissociate 'shame' with 'sex'. This is also an opportunity to have the 'birds and bees' talk if you have not already had it by now.
The act has been done. Nothing you do is going to undo this. So, even though it is the hardest thing in the world to do, you have to manage this with a cool head. Do not react immediately. If you catch them in the act, tell them that it is inappropriate and you would be discussing it with them. But, do so in a non-threatening manner. You need to address the issue, and at the same time simplify it in such a manner that your child understands pornography for what it is - a perverted deviation of the reality.
Have a discussion on the same day if possible, but not immediately. Ensure that both the partners are there for the discussion if possible. Use those talking points and discuss pornography with your child. It is not the time for euphemisms. It is better to be honest, and use appropriate biological terms to discuss the process.
So it is 'penis', 'vagina' and 'breasts' instead of 'dick', 'pussy' and 'boobs'. This way, you show your child that sexual intercourse is a process not to be denigrated by using derogatory words for body parts. Step 2: Tell them that it is OK, and they should not be ashamed of discussing sex. And it is natural to be aroused by watching pornography. Most of the children want to talk about sex, but don't know whom to approach.
As parents, you are one of the best sources of satisfying your child's curiosities, not how actual sexual intercourse happens.
Step 3: Tell them it is not how actual sexual intercourse happens. Share your views about sex. Stress on the emotional aspect of physical intimacy. Step 4: Convince them that pornography is rarely a depiction of the actual thing. Their body is going to change and chances are that it will not look like what they saw in the video. Tell your child that the body parts he or she might have witnessed are by no way a standard against which their self-esteem should be measured. Encourage your child to ask them to you instead of somebody else.
Answer them as directly as you can. It will help you keep the discussion sensible. The most important thing, and I am stressing it again, is not to put fear or shame in your child's mind.
If you do that, they are not going to stop watching porn. They will just make sure that you do not find out about it. And that is potentially disastrous. At the end, don't forget that your child is just a child.
So, stress on the fact that there is much more to watch than pornography. There is an appropriate age for the consumption of alcohol. Likewise, there is an age after which, it is 'OK' though not recommended to watch pornography. The next thing to do is investigate the source. Was it an internet search? This will tell you exactly when it all began, and how much your child has been exposed.
The next thing you do is install parental controls. Delay the time your child actually 'owns' a device. Keep the computer in the living room. By doing this, your child will stick to their project than venturing on their own.
And, if you have a younger child, avoid unsupervised screen time. You do not know what kind of content she might just be exposed to. You may also like. Signs your child is unhappy with their friends. A parent's guide to Instagram will put minds at ease.
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Ask the expert. Beauty and style. Career and money. Fitness and wellbeing. Things to do. Kids games. Art and craft. Family travel. Here's what to do if you catch your child watching pornography Anay Bhalerao March 28, Explain to them that what they're seeing isn't the reality. Image: iStock. If your child has been exposed to pornography, here are the five things that you should do.
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