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Nordic men, hulking and gorgeous in that Hugo Boss runway-model sort of way, demonstrate their interest with an alternatively cool approach. Back home, they do not behave in this pitiful way. This week, I decided to examine more closely the social norms that govern romance in these cold climes. Along with a Berlin-based photojournalist, I embarked upon a search for thoughtful-looking guys to engage in conversation about love and relationships. When I lived in France, the men were aggressive, direct, and always flirting. My impression is that German men are not very gifted with flirting! Honestly, I think it comes from not having enough sun to warm our hearts. In the summer, we are a very different people — open and inviting. I am interested in meeting and being with a long-term partner, but I have extraordinarily high measures. I am uninterested in a relationship just for the sake of having a partner.
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I did my time as a bachelor before I was married. This is why, years later, single life and the one-night stands which go along with it are about as interesting to me as white hot birdshit. I have absolutely no motivation to give out dating advice, especially when it might help young German men get a little extra honey on their stingers. The thing is, as a foreign blogger in a strange land, I am compelled to make observations about the things I see around me. You know how the stereotypical American tourist is a fat lard with white sneakers and a mean case of type 2 diabetes? But the dudes here in Germany? I see them every single day, and their genetic good fortune pisses me off. One day, in a social setting, I asked a medical student here in Germany why the guys seemed so tall. My ingenious theory, however, was that German winters typically last longer than those in the States, resulting in less sunlight and an overall deficiency of vitamin D. I went on to explain, beer in hand, how this would logically require the human body to adapt in order to increase surface area, resulting in a lanky populace better equipped to absorb sunlight.

Nordic men, hulking and gorgeous in that Hugo Boss runway-model sort of way, demonstrate their interest with an alternatively cool approach. Back home, they do not behave in this pitiful way. This week, I decided to examine more closely the social norms that govern romance in these cold climes. Along with a Berlin-based photojournalist, I embarked upon a search for thoughtful-looking guys to engage in conversation about love and relationships.

When I lived in France, the men were aggressive, direct, and always flirting. My impression is that German men are not very gifted with flirting! Honestly, I think it comes from not having enough sun to warm our hearts. In the summer, we are a very different people — open and inviting.

I am interested in meeting and being with a long-term partner, but I have extraordinarily high measures. I am uninterested in a relationship just for the sake of having a partner. I need a lot, and certain conditions must be met. Until then, and this is advice I would offer other single men, I am happy to exercise my own mind, find happiness with myself, and pursue athletics.

Men need to be relaxed with women. A lack of intimacy will make you uptight, and women can sense this. It was right immediately — a good field of energy and lots of smiling. We met at a party, and I called her the very next day; I was romantic from the very beginning and hope to continue being this way for a long time. German men show romantic inclinations with letter writing or advertising our affection with small gifts.

We are the opposite of Mediterranean men. We are less on the surface, instead working more deeply and with more loyalty. We are fools, but we filter our fool through our mind. It probably seems less direct, but in the north there is simply greater distance between people in all things. For me, marriage is still relevant, even in modern times — mostly for tax purposes.

I joke, but I sincerely believe that making this decision is meaningful. Love is the most important thing — it means that I see another as more important than myself. Francesco, Folk Musician Currently in a ten-year relationship. Berlin is an anonymous city. Men might see women, but they are not invasive. Perhaps there is a downside to this, also, in that it appears there is less caring.

Different people simply have different cultural codes. Our behavior and approach reflect our women. Nordic woman are more emancipated in relationships. Family structures are open here, and women have more freedom to concentrate on themselves, freedom from closed traditions and structures. In the South, behavior is often more fixed: The man initiates, he is active. In the North, the woman is active, and she initiates too; our cultural norms are not so strict.

It is just too easy to possess another, and we forget to seek and offer space to our partners. In this sense, it is useful and positive to be alone — to not idolize a woman or an ex-girlfriend.

Nicolas, Mathemetician Currently in a five-year relationship. We provide one another with an enrichment of the mind, always sharing ideas and opinions. I am grateful for and value her intelligence very much. In the end, this childlike aspect is just as meaningful as the other stuff.

But we are honest so we can address what we need to work on. She and I have so much freedom and independence, and we share a life without jealousy. She is strong and competent, and I work hard to return this to her, as well. Sex By Numbers is an ongoing look into the emotional and sexual lives of the modern day woman. Look Fabulous. Abigail Wick.



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